One more thing I have started yet....

Not completed! I am not letting this pass me by! I NEED to - I have to be disciplined and stay in the Word daily! This is the best way for me to do it and understand. It will take a little figuring out, but I am starting to work on This Journey starting Monday July 26th! I am NOT letting this be another goal I set for myself and don't finish! My original date to finish will be a bit later, BUT it will be done!!

Please pray for this journey I am on!

Leslie

Day 15 - God is preparing us - are we listening?

GENESIS 40:1-23; GENESIS 35:28-29; GENESIS 41:1-57

Can you interpret dreams? Could you imagine the incredible amount of responsibility would be on you if you could? Joseph was sure of his wisdom from God. He knew that his interpretations of dreams were accurate enough that he could share with anyone and they would happen. Do you think Joseph was frightened to go before the Pharaoh to interpret dreams? After everything Joseph had been through to this point, when the Pharaoh heard his interpretation of his dream, do you think Joseph was prepared to be in charge of Egypt? What was Joseph's faith like to be able to just go and do as the Pharaoh said? What is our faith like when God is speaking to us?

Personally in this journey that Joseph is being taken on I see a young man that was given a gift. Through sharing his gift he was persecuted by his brothers. Through being persecuted he was being prepared for leadership. This was a long and often times painful process for him. This was the road God chose for Joseph. His dream must have seemed impossible at the time. Can imagine him asking "how can it happen now, I am far from my land and family" or maybe he thought that he had missed God, or that his pride had kept him from fulfilling Gods will. Many generations have past, but many of us can still relate to how Joseph must have felt, but God’s answer is still the same... Trust me!

God is always faithful to fulfill His promises. We often don’t expect the way in which God chooses to fulfill those promises. His ways are not our ways and when we would normally choose the easy road to success, God directs us to go down a road that is rocky and unfamiliar, designed to prefect the righteousness of Christ within us. This rocky road is to prepare us, to teach us, to cause us to have to look and turn to Him and His word, so His plan is accomplished. Rob and I have had a great opportunity to have several things in our life happen where we feel like we really heard what God was saying to us. Once was at the church we were first time visitors of. We had heard in the morning announcements that there was going to be a guest at the church that was very prophetic. Rob took Sean last minute and I stayed at home with Brooke and young Brianna. About 20 minutes after he had left he called me... "Leslie, I know this sounds really crazy, but please just trust me. Bring the kids to the church, put the girls in child care, and come join me. The guest of the night has called me up there and he wants you here to. He has something to say to us." I had no idea what my husband was talking about, but I trusted and did as he said. Shortly after sitting down and watching two grown men go forward and this man talk to them about what God was telling him to tell them I was blown away and I was scared! These tall, strong, grown men were literally humbled to tears. The words that this man was speaking to them just took them to their knees. As we heard our names called my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I was frightened about what was about to happen. As he started off he asked a few questions. He wanted to know our names, how long we had been married, and was informed it was our first day at the church and second visit. When he started with me he was telling me to close this "picture box" that I had stored in my mind. That God had taken this box, closed it, and gotten rid of the key. He told Rob about some very personal parts of his life. He told us as a couple that we would be working with many youth in life and would affect them in great ways if we continue to follow Him. Now, by the point he had finished I was crying, I felt relieved, I was overwhelmed by what was just said, declared, and prayed over. But, I found myself really upset with Rob. I couldn't believe that just two or three days before sharing this very intimate and personal problem that he would tell someone that I didn't even know. This is exactly what I shared with Rob: in my past I had felt like I had a "picture box" in my mind that stored all of my bad times, the things I had done wrong in life, and that this "picture box" would always open up and show me images when I would begin to pray. I could never get past what I was seeing enough to continue to pray or to feel like I could start this relationship with God that He wanted me to have with Him. With this "picture box" I had a hard time sharing with Rob at times. I had JUST been honest with him and really believed he had shared this with the church! Upon talking to him, we were blown away to learn that neither of us had ever shared anything with anyone even remotely personal with anyone at that church, in that town, or outside the two of us! We couldn't believe what had been said to us and we knew it was of God that these words were spoken. We knew that only God would have known outside the two of us about these (specific words) "picture box"! This has always stuck in my mind through all of these years. He was right in what he had said. I have not opened that picture box in all these years (nor wanted to)! It was God telling me to let it stay shut and let go of the past - forgive myself just as He had forgiven me. Though not remembering the name of the man that did this prophetical reading with Rob and I, I remember him often because of the special Gift he was given and how open and wonderful it was for him to share this Gift! This Gift was from God! Do you think after learning that this was our second visit to this church that this man questioned if he would frighten us or if we would outright question him? Do you think that he thought twice about what he was telling us? Personally, I don't!... he was so direct, he was so right on the money (even with specific words) that he knew of the words he spoke to be from God! He knew his gift. Rob has a friend that has become a dear friend to me too that has this same gift. He knows that when given a word or thought on someone that he has to share it. That God is calling this in his life. He is a wonderful man, an honest man, and a man that strives to know God more. With great respect, Rob and I have called him to ask to talk. He is uplifting and always makes SO much sense to us. He speaks with love from God and honesty! With these two specific things in my life, it is evident that God is preparing me for this life, for His calling!

After these wonderful experiences in our lives, Rob and I know we have been blessed to have crossed paths with this one individual and to have a special friend in our life. It calls me to keep myself in check... What am I telling others, what are others seeing in me, what do others think of me! Do they see the love and longing I have for my Lord and Savior or do they see a woman that is about myself? It is time to listen to the voice of God. What is he sharing and saying to you? You may not have these men or Joseph in your life to say things so abundantly clear, but God has His own ways of sharing with you and letting you know exactly what He wants in your life and for your life!


Very Respectfully,
Leslie


Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 NIV

Day 14 - Where do you look when everything is going bad in your life?

GENESIS 37:1-38:30; 39:1-23
1CHRONICLES 2:3-6; 2:8

Where do we look, where do we turn when everything is going bad in our lives? Today I read about Joseph being loved the most by his father, hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, and put into jail after not laying with his boss's wife. Talk about a beginning to adult life! Joseph may not have been the easiest person to be around because of his honesty and because of his dreams. But as a 17 year old boy, did he really deserve to be treated so cruelly by his brothers? He had a lot to learn about life and the world.

Joseph was the youngest of eleven brothers. He was a dreamer. Joseph would tell his brothers about his dreams. His brother became furious that in one of his dreams, even the sun, the moon, and a host of stars (representing his brothers) bowed down before Joseph in obedience. He was favored by not having to tend to the flocks as long and hard as his brothers, the coats he wore were finer and special from their father. Their father helped fuel the jealousy between Joseph's brothers against Joseph! Once the brothers sold him in to slavery, dipped his fine coat in fresh goats blood and took the coat to show their father... they all saw exactly how important Joseph was to Jacob. Though, Jacob never thought to look for his son, he thought he was torn to shreds. So, not only was Joseph sold into slavery, the one that loved him more than anything believed him to be dead and would not be out looking for him to rescue him.

Suppose you were Joseph? Suppose people in your family suddenly turned on you, hurt you, devastated your life, then abandoned you to a cruel and terrible end? How would you feel? Would you be shocked, angry, numb with pain? As Christians we are taught that we should forgive for the wrongs others do to us. Do you say the Lords Prayer "... forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors..."? Forgiveness is so important to us as Christians. I believe that none of us can achieve true forgiveness by ourselves alone. Such inner peace is an amazing gift from God. We can seek such peace by deciding that we want to be able to forgive--with God's help. Deciding we want to forgive is a very important decision but, it is a very difficult one. Some of us go through life, never getting that far. Instead, we cling to our hurt. But, to me, that decision to want to forgive is crucial. This decision is the first step in life's journey to receive the gift of true forgiveness from God. What does that journey consist of? Faith, prayer, love, having an open heart to God, talking with others about our feelings, and looking at our own decisions and if they are wrong, being sorry for them. We can't control or anticipate when God's gift of true inner peace will come to us for a particular hurt in our lives. We can seek that peace. We can prepare ourselves for it spiritually. When people sincerely seek that gift from God, they eventually do receive it.

So, as I continue reading this journey with Joseph being in slavery, continually being put in the worst situations that he could not even imagine, I will continue to remind myself that God is in control. Joseph kept his eyes on God and continually obeyed Him. That is what we are being told to do! How is Joseph going to forgive, how is he going to work through everything his brothers put him through, how will he deal with Potiphar and the lies his wife has spread about him, HOW did he forgive for any of the wrong in his life? Who did he feel love from? He only had his dreams, one place to look, only one person to turn to... And it was God! Where do we look, where do we turn when everything is going bad in our lives? God is our answer, He is the only One that will stand beside, that will be in the depth of our heart, and that will help us to forgive others. Turning to Him is the only direction we need to know.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie Wilson

Day 13 - Descendants, Sons, Rulers, Isreal

GENESIS 36:1-43; 1CHRONICLES 1:35-43-2:2

In this part of this journey there is not a story to tell. This is were we learn about Esau's Descendants, Sons, The Rulers of Edom, and Isreal's Sons.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Day 12 - The decisions you make, how do they effect others?

GENESIS 32:1-35:27

As I read about Esau forgiving Jacob I can't help but wonder how horrible as humans we can be to others and how forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do.

Jacob was quite deceptive, sure, Rebekah played a role in tricking his father, but taking the birthright was all Jacob. Jacob saw that he could take advantage of a certain situation and he went for it! It feels like whatever Jacob got, he got because of Esau. He made his way through the birth canal by grasping onto the heel of Esau. He got the elder son’s birthright by taking advantage of Esau’s weakness from hunger, and he received his father’s blessing by dressing up as Esau. Jacob comes across as one of those people who climbed his way to the top, regardless of those he had to step on to get there. Esau runs forward to meet Jacob. He embraces him and falls upon his neck and kisses him and together they weep tears that wash away the fear and bitterness of the past. Have you ever had that moment of forgiving someone for something they may have done to you or to someone you love where you feel the walls built up fall down, the anger felt towards them leave you? Was it because the person begged your mercy and forgiveness or was it because you knew in your heart it was what you needed to do?

As human beings we make poor decisions, our actions often hurt others. As much as we want to think or say that what we chose to say or do in life doesn't affect others, it does! It does in SO many ways! Jacob, with all his manipulation and deceit is still claimed and loved by God. God doesn’t give up. This gives me hope. Still to this day I can hear myself telling my parents, "my decisions are my decisions; it isn't up to you; it doesn't effect you; if it is a mistake then I will have to learn that it is a mistake on my own." Wow, was I wrong! "My decisions" have gotten me in a bad situation with a man that ended up hurting me, put me in a hospital from not taking care of myself, landed me in an unequally yolked marriage with a man that I barely knew, and hurting the ones in my life that I love! In the time I was in each of these situations I was not in contact with people that I knew would tell me right from wrong. The day I called my mom to tell her I would be going through a divorce, I confessed to her my wrong doings. I had not been living under the will of God. I had not been a wife that showed anyone that wasn't a christian what a Christian wife or woman was like. I did nothing to better the kingdom, I only did what would better me at the time. My mom didn't scold me, she cried, she asked if I was okay, and she said to let her know how she could help. Through time, I have answered to my mistakes, I had to ask Gods forgiveness, and I had to work through having to forgive myself. In all of this, I have learned that forgiveness is NOT easy. Every single action we take effects those around us. It may not always be for the bad, it may be great.

I believe that God is always with us, trying to make a way, trying to work through humanity in such a way that divine love and blessing can still shine through. Just as Esau was able to forgive what Jacob had done in time, in my life, I have been able to ask God's forgiveness, my parents forgiveness, and forgiveness from those around me. It has taken time and love, but through the love of Christ, forgiveness has been able to happen. Remember that not only do we need to ask to be forgiven, but we need to forgive. Open your hearts to one another, open your arms, love, weep, and let the past be the past. Change the future for the better!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I know that all He does is good and loving no matter what. - Psalm 119:68

Day 11 - Who are you when no one is looking?

GENESIS 30:25-31:55

Who are you when no one is looking? Jacob was exactly who he portrayed. He was a man of integrity. The person you are in private is the person you really are!

Jacob worked hard for 7 years and was betrayed, he worked another 7 years to get what he really wanted. Jacob didn't have to do a good job. No one was looking. But he did his best because it was the right thing to do. He did it because He was serving the Lord and not just himself. Jacob revealed that he was a man of character and integrity. Even in difficult, unfair, and trying times he faithfully kept his word. He did his best in whatever he had to do. And God was pleased.

Do you feel that you are underpaid, overworked and under appreciated? If so, I encourage you to ask: Who are you working for? What are you working for? Life isn't always fair, but God is trustworthy. Look around your house, your garage and make a mental list of all the things that you have. Estimate how much time, energy, and money you have devoted to getting this stuff. How much of the stuff is already garbage? How much time, energy, and money have you been investing to in the things that are eternal, the things that will last forever? Do you live a double life? Are you proper when you are in public or when at church but in reality you are something much different? Do you think the Lord doesn't know? Who do you think the Lord will judge on the final day: the pretend you or the real you? How do you handle tough, painful, and unfair times of life? Who are you when no one is looking? Are you the same person that others see or are you living hiding yourself? I have learned that when my husband and I start keeping things from one another that we separate ourselves. We have conversations with each other about how we are as a couple, how we are as a family, how we are in our individual walk. These little conversations help me to open up to him about things that are hard to talk about in passing. It gives me a since of trust and openness between the two of us. I used to silence my phone in the case that someone would call and I would have to explain who it is and why they are calling. Though there were times a text saying hi from an old friend would come through, I was hiding it. If I am having to hide it from my husband, am I wrong for doing it? Yes! If I just let the phone ring or text sound, then there is nothing that I am hiding. There is nothing wrong with having friends, there is something wrong with having friends that have to be kept secret. If you are doing this then you aren't just looking at them as a friend, you are looking at them as a part of you that you don't want others to know about. I want Rob to know my friends, I want him to be excited that I have friends that will encourage me and that are a part of who I am today. I feel like out of everyone in my life there are two people in my life that look at the true me. When Rob looks at me, he knows the good, the bad, the kind, the ugly, the problems I have, the past I have had, the way I cope, and the way to help me! If I didn't have him as a support, as a husband, as a person that I share my life with - there wouldn't be many people out there that knows the true Leslie. I am not perfect, I stumble, I fail, I fall short of the life that God desires for me every day! BUT in this I know that I serve a gracious God, a God of compassion and understanding. I know that when I am sinning it isn't just my husband that knows, it is God that knows and that He will be the ultimate Judge for everything in my life! To live a life through Him means to have integrity when no one is looking! To me it means to be the person that people see when they look at you, not the person you want them to see.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. - Psalm 51:6

Day 10 - Are we ever satisfied?

GENESIS 28:6-30:24

This part of Genesis has really got me thinking. Are we ever satisfied with our lives or are we always looking for more, for better, for greater? Are we rushing into what we want instead of waiting on what God has in His plan for us? Are we selfish and never satisfied with anything in life? Jacob had a heart for one woman, Rachel. Even when given her sister, he still loved Rachel and wanted her as his wife. Seven years is a long time to wait, and I think Jacob really did grow to love Rachel during those years, but why did he marry Leah anyways? Why didn't he attempt other options? Are we just like Jacob in life? Are we ever satisfied? Are we ever willing to ask God what He wants in our lives and wait for His answer before making a mess? Are we willing to lay down our selfishness in order to make sure that the ones that love us know they are loved?

Leah really seemed to love Jacob from the start. You almost can feel her longing for him to love her back. She went along with her father but found very little satisfaction in the husband she had gained by deceit. Tricking someone into marriage is dangerous, but is still being done today. Some women try to buy a man with sex, or trap him with a baby, or by being someone they know they are not. On the other hand, men may also trap women by promising wealth, or trick a woman by pretending to be something he is not, hiding his faults until after the ceremony. It may not take any longer than the honeymoon for his wife to discover that she married a monster she never really knew. The consequences of deception are usually painful. So here we have the first record of people entering into a bigamous relationship. It was not God’s perfect will. God made one woman for one man. Although Jacob was tricked, I believe there were alternatives. Why didn't he reject Leah? Why didn't Jacob just accept his marriage to Leah as the will of God for his life and learned to love her alone? Jacob’s father accepted the consequences of his deceit when he impersonated his brother Esau and stole the family blessing. We later learn that Isaac was commended for it in the New Testament. Maybe Jacob would have been commended for accepting these consequences from the sovereign hand of God had he exercised that degree of faith. Leah, not Rachel, was the mother of Judah, through whom the Savior would ultimately come (Gen. 29:35). Jacob was not willing to believe that God was in control of these circumstances. Although we know He always is in control! He was going to have what he wanted in spite of God’s will. The events that follow should be evidence enough that bigamy was never part of God’s plan for the human race. Rachel really started to become upset. She began envying her sister and not living the life that God wanted for her... she wanted the life she thought that she should have! She wanted to die because she was not the one providing children for Jacob, instead it was Leah who had given him children... and not just one, many!

The sin of discontentment has ruined countless relationships. There are couples that get angry with God for not giving them children, while others who do have children look forward to the day when the kids will be grown and gone. As happy I am as a homemaker I am guilty to having said many times how nice it would be to have a job. While there are many moms and working wives that want to be full-time homemakers. Christians are dissatisfied with the places where they live, their jobs, money, and the houses they live in. Something else always looks better. How many wives do you know that are always discontent with their husbands? They whine and scold because the men don’t pay enough attention to them, don’t spend enough time with the children, won’t do little jobs around the house, work too many hours, focus more on their hobbies, television, or sports than they think of them. Many husbands are discontented with their wives, criticize them for the way they dress, the way they fix their hair, the way they cook, the way they keep house, or the way they treat the children. No matter how hard some wives try, they can never please their husbands. When we can recognize the presence of discontentment in our lives and acknowledge it as sin, we can seek God’s grace to overcome it and find new joy in living. Why is it so hard to be happy with the man or woman that we said I do to? Why is it the beginning of our relationship is so full of compliments, love, lust, and desire and through out the years we ask what were we thinking? God made a wife with the need to rest secure in her husband’s love at all times. He made a husband with a desire to not just be loved, but to be respected and adored! Do you think that when Jacob lay with these other women that Rachel felt the love that she should have? Do you think she believed he loved her at all? Rachel died during child birth of their second son, leaving Jacob to be with her sister who she envied her entire life! Jacob never recovered from this. He loved her to the end of his life. But what good did it do her? She could not fully enjoy his love. The discontentment kept her from enjoying anything totally, and it kept others from enjoying her. It isolated her to loneliness. My challenge today for myself is this: take a look at my life and all the things I complain about, look at them closely and realize that for every single thing that I am complaining about, there is God's hand in that! What I mean by this is for everything that I find wrong in my life, for everything I fail at, for everything I don't like, for everything I do and don't feel rewarded for - I have to STOP! I have to look around me and I have to thank God for every blessing He has given me to even complain about. He has given me a man who I not only respect, but that I do adore, 4 wonderful children, parents that love me, siblings that are dear to me, and friends that treasure God and the gifts we are given! Take today as a day to Thank God for every blessing you have. Take today to let go of the negative thoughts, feelings, emotions, and baggage in your life and lift each of them up to our father and ask Him to bring the positive to light and to show you what it means to be truly satisfied!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

But godliness actually is means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment - 1 Timothy 6:6