Day 13 - Descendants, Sons, Rulers, Isreal

GENESIS 36:1-43; 1CHRONICLES 1:35-43-2:2

In this part of this journey there is not a story to tell. This is were we learn about Esau's Descendants, Sons, The Rulers of Edom, and Isreal's Sons.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Day 12 - The decisions you make, how do they effect others?

GENESIS 32:1-35:27

As I read about Esau forgiving Jacob I can't help but wonder how horrible as humans we can be to others and how forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do.

Jacob was quite deceptive, sure, Rebekah played a role in tricking his father, but taking the birthright was all Jacob. Jacob saw that he could take advantage of a certain situation and he went for it! It feels like whatever Jacob got, he got because of Esau. He made his way through the birth canal by grasping onto the heel of Esau. He got the elder son’s birthright by taking advantage of Esau’s weakness from hunger, and he received his father’s blessing by dressing up as Esau. Jacob comes across as one of those people who climbed his way to the top, regardless of those he had to step on to get there. Esau runs forward to meet Jacob. He embraces him and falls upon his neck and kisses him and together they weep tears that wash away the fear and bitterness of the past. Have you ever had that moment of forgiving someone for something they may have done to you or to someone you love where you feel the walls built up fall down, the anger felt towards them leave you? Was it because the person begged your mercy and forgiveness or was it because you knew in your heart it was what you needed to do?

As human beings we make poor decisions, our actions often hurt others. As much as we want to think or say that what we chose to say or do in life doesn't affect others, it does! It does in SO many ways! Jacob, with all his manipulation and deceit is still claimed and loved by God. God doesn’t give up. This gives me hope. Still to this day I can hear myself telling my parents, "my decisions are my decisions; it isn't up to you; it doesn't effect you; if it is a mistake then I will have to learn that it is a mistake on my own." Wow, was I wrong! "My decisions" have gotten me in a bad situation with a man that ended up hurting me, put me in a hospital from not taking care of myself, landed me in an unequally yolked marriage with a man that I barely knew, and hurting the ones in my life that I love! In the time I was in each of these situations I was not in contact with people that I knew would tell me right from wrong. The day I called my mom to tell her I would be going through a divorce, I confessed to her my wrong doings. I had not been living under the will of God. I had not been a wife that showed anyone that wasn't a christian what a Christian wife or woman was like. I did nothing to better the kingdom, I only did what would better me at the time. My mom didn't scold me, she cried, she asked if I was okay, and she said to let her know how she could help. Through time, I have answered to my mistakes, I had to ask Gods forgiveness, and I had to work through having to forgive myself. In all of this, I have learned that forgiveness is NOT easy. Every single action we take effects those around us. It may not always be for the bad, it may be great.

I believe that God is always with us, trying to make a way, trying to work through humanity in such a way that divine love and blessing can still shine through. Just as Esau was able to forgive what Jacob had done in time, in my life, I have been able to ask God's forgiveness, my parents forgiveness, and forgiveness from those around me. It has taken time and love, but through the love of Christ, forgiveness has been able to happen. Remember that not only do we need to ask to be forgiven, but we need to forgive. Open your hearts to one another, open your arms, love, weep, and let the past be the past. Change the future for the better!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I know that all He does is good and loving no matter what. - Psalm 119:68

Day 11 - Who are you when no one is looking?

GENESIS 30:25-31:55

Who are you when no one is looking? Jacob was exactly who he portrayed. He was a man of integrity. The person you are in private is the person you really are!

Jacob worked hard for 7 years and was betrayed, he worked another 7 years to get what he really wanted. Jacob didn't have to do a good job. No one was looking. But he did his best because it was the right thing to do. He did it because He was serving the Lord and not just himself. Jacob revealed that he was a man of character and integrity. Even in difficult, unfair, and trying times he faithfully kept his word. He did his best in whatever he had to do. And God was pleased.

Do you feel that you are underpaid, overworked and under appreciated? If so, I encourage you to ask: Who are you working for? What are you working for? Life isn't always fair, but God is trustworthy. Look around your house, your garage and make a mental list of all the things that you have. Estimate how much time, energy, and money you have devoted to getting this stuff. How much of the stuff is already garbage? How much time, energy, and money have you been investing to in the things that are eternal, the things that will last forever? Do you live a double life? Are you proper when you are in public or when at church but in reality you are something much different? Do you think the Lord doesn't know? Who do you think the Lord will judge on the final day: the pretend you or the real you? How do you handle tough, painful, and unfair times of life? Who are you when no one is looking? Are you the same person that others see or are you living hiding yourself? I have learned that when my husband and I start keeping things from one another that we separate ourselves. We have conversations with each other about how we are as a couple, how we are as a family, how we are in our individual walk. These little conversations help me to open up to him about things that are hard to talk about in passing. It gives me a since of trust and openness between the two of us. I used to silence my phone in the case that someone would call and I would have to explain who it is and why they are calling. Though there were times a text saying hi from an old friend would come through, I was hiding it. If I am having to hide it from my husband, am I wrong for doing it? Yes! If I just let the phone ring or text sound, then there is nothing that I am hiding. There is nothing wrong with having friends, there is something wrong with having friends that have to be kept secret. If you are doing this then you aren't just looking at them as a friend, you are looking at them as a part of you that you don't want others to know about. I want Rob to know my friends, I want him to be excited that I have friends that will encourage me and that are a part of who I am today. I feel like out of everyone in my life there are two people in my life that look at the true me. When Rob looks at me, he knows the good, the bad, the kind, the ugly, the problems I have, the past I have had, the way I cope, and the way to help me! If I didn't have him as a support, as a husband, as a person that I share my life with - there wouldn't be many people out there that knows the true Leslie. I am not perfect, I stumble, I fail, I fall short of the life that God desires for me every day! BUT in this I know that I serve a gracious God, a God of compassion and understanding. I know that when I am sinning it isn't just my husband that knows, it is God that knows and that He will be the ultimate Judge for everything in my life! To live a life through Him means to have integrity when no one is looking! To me it means to be the person that people see when they look at you, not the person you want them to see.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. - Psalm 51:6

Day 10 - Are we ever satisfied?

GENESIS 28:6-30:24

This part of Genesis has really got me thinking. Are we ever satisfied with our lives or are we always looking for more, for better, for greater? Are we rushing into what we want instead of waiting on what God has in His plan for us? Are we selfish and never satisfied with anything in life? Jacob had a heart for one woman, Rachel. Even when given her sister, he still loved Rachel and wanted her as his wife. Seven years is a long time to wait, and I think Jacob really did grow to love Rachel during those years, but why did he marry Leah anyways? Why didn't he attempt other options? Are we just like Jacob in life? Are we ever satisfied? Are we ever willing to ask God what He wants in our lives and wait for His answer before making a mess? Are we willing to lay down our selfishness in order to make sure that the ones that love us know they are loved?

Leah really seemed to love Jacob from the start. You almost can feel her longing for him to love her back. She went along with her father but found very little satisfaction in the husband she had gained by deceit. Tricking someone into marriage is dangerous, but is still being done today. Some women try to buy a man with sex, or trap him with a baby, or by being someone they know they are not. On the other hand, men may also trap women by promising wealth, or trick a woman by pretending to be something he is not, hiding his faults until after the ceremony. It may not take any longer than the honeymoon for his wife to discover that she married a monster she never really knew. The consequences of deception are usually painful. So here we have the first record of people entering into a bigamous relationship. It was not God’s perfect will. God made one woman for one man. Although Jacob was tricked, I believe there were alternatives. Why didn't he reject Leah? Why didn't Jacob just accept his marriage to Leah as the will of God for his life and learned to love her alone? Jacob’s father accepted the consequences of his deceit when he impersonated his brother Esau and stole the family blessing. We later learn that Isaac was commended for it in the New Testament. Maybe Jacob would have been commended for accepting these consequences from the sovereign hand of God had he exercised that degree of faith. Leah, not Rachel, was the mother of Judah, through whom the Savior would ultimately come (Gen. 29:35). Jacob was not willing to believe that God was in control of these circumstances. Although we know He always is in control! He was going to have what he wanted in spite of God’s will. The events that follow should be evidence enough that bigamy was never part of God’s plan for the human race. Rachel really started to become upset. She began envying her sister and not living the life that God wanted for her... she wanted the life she thought that she should have! She wanted to die because she was not the one providing children for Jacob, instead it was Leah who had given him children... and not just one, many!

The sin of discontentment has ruined countless relationships. There are couples that get angry with God for not giving them children, while others who do have children look forward to the day when the kids will be grown and gone. As happy I am as a homemaker I am guilty to having said many times how nice it would be to have a job. While there are many moms and working wives that want to be full-time homemakers. Christians are dissatisfied with the places where they live, their jobs, money, and the houses they live in. Something else always looks better. How many wives do you know that are always discontent with their husbands? They whine and scold because the men don’t pay enough attention to them, don’t spend enough time with the children, won’t do little jobs around the house, work too many hours, focus more on their hobbies, television, or sports than they think of them. Many husbands are discontented with their wives, criticize them for the way they dress, the way they fix their hair, the way they cook, the way they keep house, or the way they treat the children. No matter how hard some wives try, they can never please their husbands. When we can recognize the presence of discontentment in our lives and acknowledge it as sin, we can seek God’s grace to overcome it and find new joy in living. Why is it so hard to be happy with the man or woman that we said I do to? Why is it the beginning of our relationship is so full of compliments, love, lust, and desire and through out the years we ask what were we thinking? God made a wife with the need to rest secure in her husband’s love at all times. He made a husband with a desire to not just be loved, but to be respected and adored! Do you think that when Jacob lay with these other women that Rachel felt the love that she should have? Do you think she believed he loved her at all? Rachel died during child birth of their second son, leaving Jacob to be with her sister who she envied her entire life! Jacob never recovered from this. He loved her to the end of his life. But what good did it do her? She could not fully enjoy his love. The discontentment kept her from enjoying anything totally, and it kept others from enjoying her. It isolated her to loneliness. My challenge today for myself is this: take a look at my life and all the things I complain about, look at them closely and realize that for every single thing that I am complaining about, there is God's hand in that! What I mean by this is for everything that I find wrong in my life, for everything I fail at, for everything I don't like, for everything I do and don't feel rewarded for - I have to STOP! I have to look around me and I have to thank God for every blessing He has given me to even complain about. He has given me a man who I not only respect, but that I do adore, 4 wonderful children, parents that love me, siblings that are dear to me, and friends that treasure God and the gifts we are given! Take today as a day to Thank God for every blessing you have. Take today to let go of the negative thoughts, feelings, emotions, and baggage in your life and lift each of them up to our father and ask Him to bring the positive to light and to show you what it means to be truly satisfied!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

But godliness actually is means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment - 1 Timothy 6:6

Day 9 - How solid are the words you speak?

GENESIS 25:27-28:5

Here in Genesis 27 we see the betrayal of Jacob and Rebekah. We see Isaac betrayed by his wife and his second born son. There is a desperation from Esau in his begging his father to bless him also. The words that Isaac said to Jacob (even when believing that it was Esau) were not taken back. My question is how solid are the words you speak?

Why is it that Isaac could not take the blessing off of Jacob that he spoke to him when learning he was betrayed? He didn't, instead he went on to continue to bless him by telling him what land to find his wife from. He knew what Jacob had done was wrong, he knew what he wanted to his first son Esau, but he did not go back on the blessing spoken and given. It appears that Rebekah was in control of more after learning of Esau's plot to kill his brother to receive blessing. Rebekah told Jacob to leave to hide until his brother could get over being angry and forgets what he did to him. What Rebekah does next I find that many women do to men... manipulate... she told her husband that she didn't want their son to marry a woman of their land, she made him bless Jacob by sending him to another land to find a wife, make a family, and be fruitful. Isaac did what he believed was right for his son according to his wife's wishes. Do you believe that Isaac was aware of the fact that Rebekah had been behind all of it from the beginning? If so, why wasn't there any talk of the betrayal from her? If not, how do you think that Jacob looked as his mom after knowing that she was the reason his brother wanted him dead and why he had to leave the land where his father and family were?

Do you stand firm on what you say or do you take it back? Do you say things out of convenience? Do you say things that make others look bad? Do you make situations that come your way out for your own good, to make a name for yourself or do you give credit where it is properly deserved? Are you like Rebekah in any way in the fact that you can make things happen because of the situations whether what it is you want done is right or wrong? Words are powerful! Words can be kind, sweet, informational, and inspirational; they can also be hurtful, mean, bold, and wrong. You have a choice! You have the choice to learn how the words that you say effect everyone around you. Choose carefully... Just think about how the little words of the children could and can light your entire day. Just this morning my daughter called mommy and just said, "I love you". It is amazing what those 3 words mean to me. From my children, from my mouth to my children, from my husband, and to my husband. The words you say, the things you do, and the actions you have to those around you are noted and recognized by your children, by those who love you, and those who admire you. Make the right decisions in life, take that extra step to do right and ensure it is what God is asking of you and that everything you are doing is glorifying Him. Keep Him as center in my life is what will get me through life in the right way. When I loose focus on Him and His word and will is when I fall on the desires of self and not on what God is calling for me.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. - John 1:12

Day 8 - How do you love?

GENESIS 25:1-26; 1CHRONICLES 1:28-34 (NIV)

Could you imagine having twins, loving one more than the other, and having one serve the other? In the days of Jacob and Esau, God proclaimed it just this way. Esau was first born and loved more by his father. Jacob was loved more by his mother. We see more about this story later. Personally, I couldn't imagine deciding which child I love more or which child I would have serve another. My children are each so dear to me - to make me chose which one I love more than another... I simply couldn't do it!

God knew, before the birth of Jacob and Esau, just who each of them were. He knew that Esau would not have a heart to obey Him. God answered Rebekah's prayer by telling her she would have two children, and the older one would serve the younger. He presented the future history of her two sons before her, that they would be two nations, the one greater than the other, and the elder should serve the younger. The first-born was entitled to peculiar advantages and special privileges, which belonged to no other members of the family.

As far as my family, I gained two children automatically when I met Rob. Sean was 11, Brooke was 5. Sean looked so much like Rob, he acted so much like his father. Brooke, her striking red hair, her perfect dimples, I just fell in-love. I wanted to see Sean successful from the beginning. He was always so smart! He figured out it takes doing the work and turning it in to pass and he even graduated high school early! As soon as Sean would put his mind to something - he would do it! Look at him now - he is an Active Duty Sailor who for the first time saw his ship yesterday! The pride and the excitement in his voice was wonderful to hear! Brooke is in 6th grade being asked to take Pre-AP classes next year. She doesn't have to even study to do well. She is full of SMARTS! She is 12 and one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Before Brianna was to join our family, I was happy if we never had more. I loved what we had when it was the four of us. I loved that I had a son and a daughter. There still were rough times of adjustments with a step mom in the picture, but we work through them. Then, we found out May 17th we were having a baby. There was joy, excitement, and nerves that all came in just like with anyone. Brianna has been the mother hen since birth. She is precious, her beautiful beauty mark that makes her hair colors women pay BIG money for, her little body, her perfect smile. She is Brianna, the 5 year old (wanting to be 12 like her sister). She loves Sean, Brooke, and Jayce. Before we moved to Minnesota I found out we were expecting again. We found out it was a boy. We debated up until we delivered what we would name him. Just the other day Rob looked at me and said "he couldn't be a different name; he is Jayce!". He is so right in that statement. Everyone adores little man. He is such a boy, cars, trucks, blocks, trains, sports...all boy! I think what I am saying is that in every level that my children are in in their lives, I love that level with them. I love that each of them are unique and love different things, but in the same way they love each other enough to love what the other ones love. I adore that they try to take care of one another when no one is supposed to be looking. I love seeing them all together! I love my children, I love my family. Rob and I are blessed to have the family that we have. I am blessed to have Rob!

Though it was apparent that Jacob and Esau were not treated as equals and not loved the same. God did have it planned that way for a reason. Just as I believe that God has a different plan in each one of my childrens' life. He made them all different, but He made them for our family! He calls me as their mother to love and protect them, to offer them up to Him in raising them in His word and desiring Him. He calls Rob as their dad to raise them with love, to discipline with love and authority, to protect, and to provide for them. He calls us as a family to serve Him in obedience. He has given us the biggest blessing of all... His love, His mercy, His grace, and His PERFECT plan. My goal in my family is to make sure that God is our center always in our home! As long as there is always love, always respect, and God as our center, we can follow His plan for our family.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. - Romans 8:28

Day 7 - What are you willing to sacrifice?

GENESIS 21:8-23:20; GENESIS 11:32; GENESIS 24:1-67

God calls Abraham to sacrifice his only son! After waiting for so long to be able to have a child, could you imagine being asked to offer your child up as a sacrifice? Issac was everything to Abraham and Abraham was giving everything to him. Abraham had to forget his dreams and do what God was asking of him. God tested Abraham's belief in the impossible. Do you think on the journey to the place God had planned, Abraham was angry? sad? full of guilt? full of questions? was he asking God why his only son? Was he concerned with the future or what would be coming next? After becoming a mother, I simply could not imagine! Just the thought of the journey to sacrifice my child makes my heart break. Isaac seems to be a strong teenager that was willing to give up his life. There doesn't seem to be any physical struggle to have Isaac lie on the altar. By carrying the wood, we know Isaac was at least a young man. Isaac, it seems, willingly gave up his life at his father’s request just as Jesus did. What fear would your child have? As parents our children trust us. They trust their lives in our hands. We are called to love and respect God above any one else! Abraham demonstrates this in the same way that God gave us His son!

God made us love our children, treasure them, and to ask us to give them to Him... Wow, what a struggle. After almost loosing a person that is SO dear to me during child birth, I look at the sweet face today and I am in awe that she is still with us!! In the same since that I am in awe of this child, there is another that I am saddened for the family! In 2 days tomorrow a son was lost to SIDS 2 years ago. Seeing a mom and dad, grandparents, family, and friends go through the unexpected loss of a child. This child is with God now and we do not understand why. If God is calling you to give something in your life to Him are you willing to do follow Him? What if He asked you to not do something that you wanted to do for so long and now you think you have a chance to do it? What about an item, is there something that you hold so dear you wouldn't give it to anyone? What about something that you love to do... or something that you know you should give up and won't? Why? Why is it so hard to give up ANYTHING in life when we know it is what God is calling us to do?

Abraham is our example, we are to take his actions and his faith and not just learn from it, but do it! What are you willing to sacrifice? What are you willing to lay down for God? What is God calling you to do in your life that you aren't ready to do? What are you doing that God is calling you to stop? I hope these questions are affecting you like they are me... God has called me to be a wife, a mother, a child, and a friend... He has and is asking me to lay down the wrong in life, to start doing right, to live by His grace, to live by His word!


Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ. - Ephesians 1:7