Day 12 - The decisions you make, how do they effect others?

GENESIS 32:1-35:27

As I read about Esau forgiving Jacob I can't help but wonder how horrible as humans we can be to others and how forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do.

Jacob was quite deceptive, sure, Rebekah played a role in tricking his father, but taking the birthright was all Jacob. Jacob saw that he could take advantage of a certain situation and he went for it! It feels like whatever Jacob got, he got because of Esau. He made his way through the birth canal by grasping onto the heel of Esau. He got the elder son’s birthright by taking advantage of Esau’s weakness from hunger, and he received his father’s blessing by dressing up as Esau. Jacob comes across as one of those people who climbed his way to the top, regardless of those he had to step on to get there. Esau runs forward to meet Jacob. He embraces him and falls upon his neck and kisses him and together they weep tears that wash away the fear and bitterness of the past. Have you ever had that moment of forgiving someone for something they may have done to you or to someone you love where you feel the walls built up fall down, the anger felt towards them leave you? Was it because the person begged your mercy and forgiveness or was it because you knew in your heart it was what you needed to do?

As human beings we make poor decisions, our actions often hurt others. As much as we want to think or say that what we chose to say or do in life doesn't affect others, it does! It does in SO many ways! Jacob, with all his manipulation and deceit is still claimed and loved by God. God doesn’t give up. This gives me hope. Still to this day I can hear myself telling my parents, "my decisions are my decisions; it isn't up to you; it doesn't effect you; if it is a mistake then I will have to learn that it is a mistake on my own." Wow, was I wrong! "My decisions" have gotten me in a bad situation with a man that ended up hurting me, put me in a hospital from not taking care of myself, landed me in an unequally yolked marriage with a man that I barely knew, and hurting the ones in my life that I love! In the time I was in each of these situations I was not in contact with people that I knew would tell me right from wrong. The day I called my mom to tell her I would be going through a divorce, I confessed to her my wrong doings. I had not been living under the will of God. I had not been a wife that showed anyone that wasn't a christian what a Christian wife or woman was like. I did nothing to better the kingdom, I only did what would better me at the time. My mom didn't scold me, she cried, she asked if I was okay, and she said to let her know how she could help. Through time, I have answered to my mistakes, I had to ask Gods forgiveness, and I had to work through having to forgive myself. In all of this, I have learned that forgiveness is NOT easy. Every single action we take effects those around us. It may not always be for the bad, it may be great.

I believe that God is always with us, trying to make a way, trying to work through humanity in such a way that divine love and blessing can still shine through. Just as Esau was able to forgive what Jacob had done in time, in my life, I have been able to ask God's forgiveness, my parents forgiveness, and forgiveness from those around me. It has taken time and love, but through the love of Christ, forgiveness has been able to happen. Remember that not only do we need to ask to be forgiven, but we need to forgive. Open your hearts to one another, open your arms, love, weep, and let the past be the past. Change the future for the better!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I know that all He does is good and loving no matter what. - Psalm 119:68