One more thing I have started yet....

Not completed! I am not letting this pass me by! I NEED to - I have to be disciplined and stay in the Word daily! This is the best way for me to do it and understand. It will take a little figuring out, but I am starting to work on This Journey starting Monday July 26th! I am NOT letting this be another goal I set for myself and don't finish! My original date to finish will be a bit later, BUT it will be done!!

Please pray for this journey I am on!

Leslie

Day 15 - God is preparing us - are we listening?

GENESIS 40:1-23; GENESIS 35:28-29; GENESIS 41:1-57

Can you interpret dreams? Could you imagine the incredible amount of responsibility would be on you if you could? Joseph was sure of his wisdom from God. He knew that his interpretations of dreams were accurate enough that he could share with anyone and they would happen. Do you think Joseph was frightened to go before the Pharaoh to interpret dreams? After everything Joseph had been through to this point, when the Pharaoh heard his interpretation of his dream, do you think Joseph was prepared to be in charge of Egypt? What was Joseph's faith like to be able to just go and do as the Pharaoh said? What is our faith like when God is speaking to us?

Personally in this journey that Joseph is being taken on I see a young man that was given a gift. Through sharing his gift he was persecuted by his brothers. Through being persecuted he was being prepared for leadership. This was a long and often times painful process for him. This was the road God chose for Joseph. His dream must have seemed impossible at the time. Can imagine him asking "how can it happen now, I am far from my land and family" or maybe he thought that he had missed God, or that his pride had kept him from fulfilling Gods will. Many generations have past, but many of us can still relate to how Joseph must have felt, but God’s answer is still the same... Trust me!

God is always faithful to fulfill His promises. We often don’t expect the way in which God chooses to fulfill those promises. His ways are not our ways and when we would normally choose the easy road to success, God directs us to go down a road that is rocky and unfamiliar, designed to prefect the righteousness of Christ within us. This rocky road is to prepare us, to teach us, to cause us to have to look and turn to Him and His word, so His plan is accomplished. Rob and I have had a great opportunity to have several things in our life happen where we feel like we really heard what God was saying to us. Once was at the church we were first time visitors of. We had heard in the morning announcements that there was going to be a guest at the church that was very prophetic. Rob took Sean last minute and I stayed at home with Brooke and young Brianna. About 20 minutes after he had left he called me... "Leslie, I know this sounds really crazy, but please just trust me. Bring the kids to the church, put the girls in child care, and come join me. The guest of the night has called me up there and he wants you here to. He has something to say to us." I had no idea what my husband was talking about, but I trusted and did as he said. Shortly after sitting down and watching two grown men go forward and this man talk to them about what God was telling him to tell them I was blown away and I was scared! These tall, strong, grown men were literally humbled to tears. The words that this man was speaking to them just took them to their knees. As we heard our names called my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I was frightened about what was about to happen. As he started off he asked a few questions. He wanted to know our names, how long we had been married, and was informed it was our first day at the church and second visit. When he started with me he was telling me to close this "picture box" that I had stored in my mind. That God had taken this box, closed it, and gotten rid of the key. He told Rob about some very personal parts of his life. He told us as a couple that we would be working with many youth in life and would affect them in great ways if we continue to follow Him. Now, by the point he had finished I was crying, I felt relieved, I was overwhelmed by what was just said, declared, and prayed over. But, I found myself really upset with Rob. I couldn't believe that just two or three days before sharing this very intimate and personal problem that he would tell someone that I didn't even know. This is exactly what I shared with Rob: in my past I had felt like I had a "picture box" in my mind that stored all of my bad times, the things I had done wrong in life, and that this "picture box" would always open up and show me images when I would begin to pray. I could never get past what I was seeing enough to continue to pray or to feel like I could start this relationship with God that He wanted me to have with Him. With this "picture box" I had a hard time sharing with Rob at times. I had JUST been honest with him and really believed he had shared this with the church! Upon talking to him, we were blown away to learn that neither of us had ever shared anything with anyone even remotely personal with anyone at that church, in that town, or outside the two of us! We couldn't believe what had been said to us and we knew it was of God that these words were spoken. We knew that only God would have known outside the two of us about these (specific words) "picture box"! This has always stuck in my mind through all of these years. He was right in what he had said. I have not opened that picture box in all these years (nor wanted to)! It was God telling me to let it stay shut and let go of the past - forgive myself just as He had forgiven me. Though not remembering the name of the man that did this prophetical reading with Rob and I, I remember him often because of the special Gift he was given and how open and wonderful it was for him to share this Gift! This Gift was from God! Do you think after learning that this was our second visit to this church that this man questioned if he would frighten us or if we would outright question him? Do you think that he thought twice about what he was telling us? Personally, I don't!... he was so direct, he was so right on the money (even with specific words) that he knew of the words he spoke to be from God! He knew his gift. Rob has a friend that has become a dear friend to me too that has this same gift. He knows that when given a word or thought on someone that he has to share it. That God is calling this in his life. He is a wonderful man, an honest man, and a man that strives to know God more. With great respect, Rob and I have called him to ask to talk. He is uplifting and always makes SO much sense to us. He speaks with love from God and honesty! With these two specific things in my life, it is evident that God is preparing me for this life, for His calling!

After these wonderful experiences in our lives, Rob and I know we have been blessed to have crossed paths with this one individual and to have a special friend in our life. It calls me to keep myself in check... What am I telling others, what are others seeing in me, what do others think of me! Do they see the love and longing I have for my Lord and Savior or do they see a woman that is about myself? It is time to listen to the voice of God. What is he sharing and saying to you? You may not have these men or Joseph in your life to say things so abundantly clear, but God has His own ways of sharing with you and letting you know exactly what He wants in your life and for your life!


Very Respectfully,
Leslie


Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 NIV

Day 14 - Where do you look when everything is going bad in your life?

GENESIS 37:1-38:30; 39:1-23
1CHRONICLES 2:3-6; 2:8

Where do we look, where do we turn when everything is going bad in our lives? Today I read about Joseph being loved the most by his father, hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, and put into jail after not laying with his boss's wife. Talk about a beginning to adult life! Joseph may not have been the easiest person to be around because of his honesty and because of his dreams. But as a 17 year old boy, did he really deserve to be treated so cruelly by his brothers? He had a lot to learn about life and the world.

Joseph was the youngest of eleven brothers. He was a dreamer. Joseph would tell his brothers about his dreams. His brother became furious that in one of his dreams, even the sun, the moon, and a host of stars (representing his brothers) bowed down before Joseph in obedience. He was favored by not having to tend to the flocks as long and hard as his brothers, the coats he wore were finer and special from their father. Their father helped fuel the jealousy between Joseph's brothers against Joseph! Once the brothers sold him in to slavery, dipped his fine coat in fresh goats blood and took the coat to show their father... they all saw exactly how important Joseph was to Jacob. Though, Jacob never thought to look for his son, he thought he was torn to shreds. So, not only was Joseph sold into slavery, the one that loved him more than anything believed him to be dead and would not be out looking for him to rescue him.

Suppose you were Joseph? Suppose people in your family suddenly turned on you, hurt you, devastated your life, then abandoned you to a cruel and terrible end? How would you feel? Would you be shocked, angry, numb with pain? As Christians we are taught that we should forgive for the wrongs others do to us. Do you say the Lords Prayer "... forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors..."? Forgiveness is so important to us as Christians. I believe that none of us can achieve true forgiveness by ourselves alone. Such inner peace is an amazing gift from God. We can seek such peace by deciding that we want to be able to forgive--with God's help. Deciding we want to forgive is a very important decision but, it is a very difficult one. Some of us go through life, never getting that far. Instead, we cling to our hurt. But, to me, that decision to want to forgive is crucial. This decision is the first step in life's journey to receive the gift of true forgiveness from God. What does that journey consist of? Faith, prayer, love, having an open heart to God, talking with others about our feelings, and looking at our own decisions and if they are wrong, being sorry for them. We can't control or anticipate when God's gift of true inner peace will come to us for a particular hurt in our lives. We can seek that peace. We can prepare ourselves for it spiritually. When people sincerely seek that gift from God, they eventually do receive it.

So, as I continue reading this journey with Joseph being in slavery, continually being put in the worst situations that he could not even imagine, I will continue to remind myself that God is in control. Joseph kept his eyes on God and continually obeyed Him. That is what we are being told to do! How is Joseph going to forgive, how is he going to work through everything his brothers put him through, how will he deal with Potiphar and the lies his wife has spread about him, HOW did he forgive for any of the wrong in his life? Who did he feel love from? He only had his dreams, one place to look, only one person to turn to... And it was God! Where do we look, where do we turn when everything is going bad in our lives? God is our answer, He is the only One that will stand beside, that will be in the depth of our heart, and that will help us to forgive others. Turning to Him is the only direction we need to know.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie Wilson

Day 13 - Descendants, Sons, Rulers, Isreal

GENESIS 36:1-43; 1CHRONICLES 1:35-43-2:2

In this part of this journey there is not a story to tell. This is were we learn about Esau's Descendants, Sons, The Rulers of Edom, and Isreal's Sons.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Day 12 - The decisions you make, how do they effect others?

GENESIS 32:1-35:27

As I read about Esau forgiving Jacob I can't help but wonder how horrible as humans we can be to others and how forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do.

Jacob was quite deceptive, sure, Rebekah played a role in tricking his father, but taking the birthright was all Jacob. Jacob saw that he could take advantage of a certain situation and he went for it! It feels like whatever Jacob got, he got because of Esau. He made his way through the birth canal by grasping onto the heel of Esau. He got the elder son’s birthright by taking advantage of Esau’s weakness from hunger, and he received his father’s blessing by dressing up as Esau. Jacob comes across as one of those people who climbed his way to the top, regardless of those he had to step on to get there. Esau runs forward to meet Jacob. He embraces him and falls upon his neck and kisses him and together they weep tears that wash away the fear and bitterness of the past. Have you ever had that moment of forgiving someone for something they may have done to you or to someone you love where you feel the walls built up fall down, the anger felt towards them leave you? Was it because the person begged your mercy and forgiveness or was it because you knew in your heart it was what you needed to do?

As human beings we make poor decisions, our actions often hurt others. As much as we want to think or say that what we chose to say or do in life doesn't affect others, it does! It does in SO many ways! Jacob, with all his manipulation and deceit is still claimed and loved by God. God doesn’t give up. This gives me hope. Still to this day I can hear myself telling my parents, "my decisions are my decisions; it isn't up to you; it doesn't effect you; if it is a mistake then I will have to learn that it is a mistake on my own." Wow, was I wrong! "My decisions" have gotten me in a bad situation with a man that ended up hurting me, put me in a hospital from not taking care of myself, landed me in an unequally yolked marriage with a man that I barely knew, and hurting the ones in my life that I love! In the time I was in each of these situations I was not in contact with people that I knew would tell me right from wrong. The day I called my mom to tell her I would be going through a divorce, I confessed to her my wrong doings. I had not been living under the will of God. I had not been a wife that showed anyone that wasn't a christian what a Christian wife or woman was like. I did nothing to better the kingdom, I only did what would better me at the time. My mom didn't scold me, she cried, she asked if I was okay, and she said to let her know how she could help. Through time, I have answered to my mistakes, I had to ask Gods forgiveness, and I had to work through having to forgive myself. In all of this, I have learned that forgiveness is NOT easy. Every single action we take effects those around us. It may not always be for the bad, it may be great.

I believe that God is always with us, trying to make a way, trying to work through humanity in such a way that divine love and blessing can still shine through. Just as Esau was able to forgive what Jacob had done in time, in my life, I have been able to ask God's forgiveness, my parents forgiveness, and forgiveness from those around me. It has taken time and love, but through the love of Christ, forgiveness has been able to happen. Remember that not only do we need to ask to be forgiven, but we need to forgive. Open your hearts to one another, open your arms, love, weep, and let the past be the past. Change the future for the better!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I know that all He does is good and loving no matter what. - Psalm 119:68

Day 11 - Who are you when no one is looking?

GENESIS 30:25-31:55

Who are you when no one is looking? Jacob was exactly who he portrayed. He was a man of integrity. The person you are in private is the person you really are!

Jacob worked hard for 7 years and was betrayed, he worked another 7 years to get what he really wanted. Jacob didn't have to do a good job. No one was looking. But he did his best because it was the right thing to do. He did it because He was serving the Lord and not just himself. Jacob revealed that he was a man of character and integrity. Even in difficult, unfair, and trying times he faithfully kept his word. He did his best in whatever he had to do. And God was pleased.

Do you feel that you are underpaid, overworked and under appreciated? If so, I encourage you to ask: Who are you working for? What are you working for? Life isn't always fair, but God is trustworthy. Look around your house, your garage and make a mental list of all the things that you have. Estimate how much time, energy, and money you have devoted to getting this stuff. How much of the stuff is already garbage? How much time, energy, and money have you been investing to in the things that are eternal, the things that will last forever? Do you live a double life? Are you proper when you are in public or when at church but in reality you are something much different? Do you think the Lord doesn't know? Who do you think the Lord will judge on the final day: the pretend you or the real you? How do you handle tough, painful, and unfair times of life? Who are you when no one is looking? Are you the same person that others see or are you living hiding yourself? I have learned that when my husband and I start keeping things from one another that we separate ourselves. We have conversations with each other about how we are as a couple, how we are as a family, how we are in our individual walk. These little conversations help me to open up to him about things that are hard to talk about in passing. It gives me a since of trust and openness between the two of us. I used to silence my phone in the case that someone would call and I would have to explain who it is and why they are calling. Though there were times a text saying hi from an old friend would come through, I was hiding it. If I am having to hide it from my husband, am I wrong for doing it? Yes! If I just let the phone ring or text sound, then there is nothing that I am hiding. There is nothing wrong with having friends, there is something wrong with having friends that have to be kept secret. If you are doing this then you aren't just looking at them as a friend, you are looking at them as a part of you that you don't want others to know about. I want Rob to know my friends, I want him to be excited that I have friends that will encourage me and that are a part of who I am today. I feel like out of everyone in my life there are two people in my life that look at the true me. When Rob looks at me, he knows the good, the bad, the kind, the ugly, the problems I have, the past I have had, the way I cope, and the way to help me! If I didn't have him as a support, as a husband, as a person that I share my life with - there wouldn't be many people out there that knows the true Leslie. I am not perfect, I stumble, I fail, I fall short of the life that God desires for me every day! BUT in this I know that I serve a gracious God, a God of compassion and understanding. I know that when I am sinning it isn't just my husband that knows, it is God that knows and that He will be the ultimate Judge for everything in my life! To live a life through Him means to have integrity when no one is looking! To me it means to be the person that people see when they look at you, not the person you want them to see.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. - Psalm 51:6

Day 10 - Are we ever satisfied?

GENESIS 28:6-30:24

This part of Genesis has really got me thinking. Are we ever satisfied with our lives or are we always looking for more, for better, for greater? Are we rushing into what we want instead of waiting on what God has in His plan for us? Are we selfish and never satisfied with anything in life? Jacob had a heart for one woman, Rachel. Even when given her sister, he still loved Rachel and wanted her as his wife. Seven years is a long time to wait, and I think Jacob really did grow to love Rachel during those years, but why did he marry Leah anyways? Why didn't he attempt other options? Are we just like Jacob in life? Are we ever satisfied? Are we ever willing to ask God what He wants in our lives and wait for His answer before making a mess? Are we willing to lay down our selfishness in order to make sure that the ones that love us know they are loved?

Leah really seemed to love Jacob from the start. You almost can feel her longing for him to love her back. She went along with her father but found very little satisfaction in the husband she had gained by deceit. Tricking someone into marriage is dangerous, but is still being done today. Some women try to buy a man with sex, or trap him with a baby, or by being someone they know they are not. On the other hand, men may also trap women by promising wealth, or trick a woman by pretending to be something he is not, hiding his faults until after the ceremony. It may not take any longer than the honeymoon for his wife to discover that she married a monster she never really knew. The consequences of deception are usually painful. So here we have the first record of people entering into a bigamous relationship. It was not God’s perfect will. God made one woman for one man. Although Jacob was tricked, I believe there were alternatives. Why didn't he reject Leah? Why didn't Jacob just accept his marriage to Leah as the will of God for his life and learned to love her alone? Jacob’s father accepted the consequences of his deceit when he impersonated his brother Esau and stole the family blessing. We later learn that Isaac was commended for it in the New Testament. Maybe Jacob would have been commended for accepting these consequences from the sovereign hand of God had he exercised that degree of faith. Leah, not Rachel, was the mother of Judah, through whom the Savior would ultimately come (Gen. 29:35). Jacob was not willing to believe that God was in control of these circumstances. Although we know He always is in control! He was going to have what he wanted in spite of God’s will. The events that follow should be evidence enough that bigamy was never part of God’s plan for the human race. Rachel really started to become upset. She began envying her sister and not living the life that God wanted for her... she wanted the life she thought that she should have! She wanted to die because she was not the one providing children for Jacob, instead it was Leah who had given him children... and not just one, many!

The sin of discontentment has ruined countless relationships. There are couples that get angry with God for not giving them children, while others who do have children look forward to the day when the kids will be grown and gone. As happy I am as a homemaker I am guilty to having said many times how nice it would be to have a job. While there are many moms and working wives that want to be full-time homemakers. Christians are dissatisfied with the places where they live, their jobs, money, and the houses they live in. Something else always looks better. How many wives do you know that are always discontent with their husbands? They whine and scold because the men don’t pay enough attention to them, don’t spend enough time with the children, won’t do little jobs around the house, work too many hours, focus more on their hobbies, television, or sports than they think of them. Many husbands are discontented with their wives, criticize them for the way they dress, the way they fix their hair, the way they cook, the way they keep house, or the way they treat the children. No matter how hard some wives try, they can never please their husbands. When we can recognize the presence of discontentment in our lives and acknowledge it as sin, we can seek God’s grace to overcome it and find new joy in living. Why is it so hard to be happy with the man or woman that we said I do to? Why is it the beginning of our relationship is so full of compliments, love, lust, and desire and through out the years we ask what were we thinking? God made a wife with the need to rest secure in her husband’s love at all times. He made a husband with a desire to not just be loved, but to be respected and adored! Do you think that when Jacob lay with these other women that Rachel felt the love that she should have? Do you think she believed he loved her at all? Rachel died during child birth of their second son, leaving Jacob to be with her sister who she envied her entire life! Jacob never recovered from this. He loved her to the end of his life. But what good did it do her? She could not fully enjoy his love. The discontentment kept her from enjoying anything totally, and it kept others from enjoying her. It isolated her to loneliness. My challenge today for myself is this: take a look at my life and all the things I complain about, look at them closely and realize that for every single thing that I am complaining about, there is God's hand in that! What I mean by this is for everything that I find wrong in my life, for everything I fail at, for everything I don't like, for everything I do and don't feel rewarded for - I have to STOP! I have to look around me and I have to thank God for every blessing He has given me to even complain about. He has given me a man who I not only respect, but that I do adore, 4 wonderful children, parents that love me, siblings that are dear to me, and friends that treasure God and the gifts we are given! Take today as a day to Thank God for every blessing you have. Take today to let go of the negative thoughts, feelings, emotions, and baggage in your life and lift each of them up to our father and ask Him to bring the positive to light and to show you what it means to be truly satisfied!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

But godliness actually is means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment - 1 Timothy 6:6

Day 9 - How solid are the words you speak?

GENESIS 25:27-28:5

Here in Genesis 27 we see the betrayal of Jacob and Rebekah. We see Isaac betrayed by his wife and his second born son. There is a desperation from Esau in his begging his father to bless him also. The words that Isaac said to Jacob (even when believing that it was Esau) were not taken back. My question is how solid are the words you speak?

Why is it that Isaac could not take the blessing off of Jacob that he spoke to him when learning he was betrayed? He didn't, instead he went on to continue to bless him by telling him what land to find his wife from. He knew what Jacob had done was wrong, he knew what he wanted to his first son Esau, but he did not go back on the blessing spoken and given. It appears that Rebekah was in control of more after learning of Esau's plot to kill his brother to receive blessing. Rebekah told Jacob to leave to hide until his brother could get over being angry and forgets what he did to him. What Rebekah does next I find that many women do to men... manipulate... she told her husband that she didn't want their son to marry a woman of their land, she made him bless Jacob by sending him to another land to find a wife, make a family, and be fruitful. Isaac did what he believed was right for his son according to his wife's wishes. Do you believe that Isaac was aware of the fact that Rebekah had been behind all of it from the beginning? If so, why wasn't there any talk of the betrayal from her? If not, how do you think that Jacob looked as his mom after knowing that she was the reason his brother wanted him dead and why he had to leave the land where his father and family were?

Do you stand firm on what you say or do you take it back? Do you say things out of convenience? Do you say things that make others look bad? Do you make situations that come your way out for your own good, to make a name for yourself or do you give credit where it is properly deserved? Are you like Rebekah in any way in the fact that you can make things happen because of the situations whether what it is you want done is right or wrong? Words are powerful! Words can be kind, sweet, informational, and inspirational; they can also be hurtful, mean, bold, and wrong. You have a choice! You have the choice to learn how the words that you say effect everyone around you. Choose carefully... Just think about how the little words of the children could and can light your entire day. Just this morning my daughter called mommy and just said, "I love you". It is amazing what those 3 words mean to me. From my children, from my mouth to my children, from my husband, and to my husband. The words you say, the things you do, and the actions you have to those around you are noted and recognized by your children, by those who love you, and those who admire you. Make the right decisions in life, take that extra step to do right and ensure it is what God is asking of you and that everything you are doing is glorifying Him. Keep Him as center in my life is what will get me through life in the right way. When I loose focus on Him and His word and will is when I fall on the desires of self and not on what God is calling for me.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. - John 1:12

Day 8 - How do you love?

GENESIS 25:1-26; 1CHRONICLES 1:28-34 (NIV)

Could you imagine having twins, loving one more than the other, and having one serve the other? In the days of Jacob and Esau, God proclaimed it just this way. Esau was first born and loved more by his father. Jacob was loved more by his mother. We see more about this story later. Personally, I couldn't imagine deciding which child I love more or which child I would have serve another. My children are each so dear to me - to make me chose which one I love more than another... I simply couldn't do it!

God knew, before the birth of Jacob and Esau, just who each of them were. He knew that Esau would not have a heart to obey Him. God answered Rebekah's prayer by telling her she would have two children, and the older one would serve the younger. He presented the future history of her two sons before her, that they would be two nations, the one greater than the other, and the elder should serve the younger. The first-born was entitled to peculiar advantages and special privileges, which belonged to no other members of the family.

As far as my family, I gained two children automatically when I met Rob. Sean was 11, Brooke was 5. Sean looked so much like Rob, he acted so much like his father. Brooke, her striking red hair, her perfect dimples, I just fell in-love. I wanted to see Sean successful from the beginning. He was always so smart! He figured out it takes doing the work and turning it in to pass and he even graduated high school early! As soon as Sean would put his mind to something - he would do it! Look at him now - he is an Active Duty Sailor who for the first time saw his ship yesterday! The pride and the excitement in his voice was wonderful to hear! Brooke is in 6th grade being asked to take Pre-AP classes next year. She doesn't have to even study to do well. She is full of SMARTS! She is 12 and one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Before Brianna was to join our family, I was happy if we never had more. I loved what we had when it was the four of us. I loved that I had a son and a daughter. There still were rough times of adjustments with a step mom in the picture, but we work through them. Then, we found out May 17th we were having a baby. There was joy, excitement, and nerves that all came in just like with anyone. Brianna has been the mother hen since birth. She is precious, her beautiful beauty mark that makes her hair colors women pay BIG money for, her little body, her perfect smile. She is Brianna, the 5 year old (wanting to be 12 like her sister). She loves Sean, Brooke, and Jayce. Before we moved to Minnesota I found out we were expecting again. We found out it was a boy. We debated up until we delivered what we would name him. Just the other day Rob looked at me and said "he couldn't be a different name; he is Jayce!". He is so right in that statement. Everyone adores little man. He is such a boy, cars, trucks, blocks, trains, sports...all boy! I think what I am saying is that in every level that my children are in in their lives, I love that level with them. I love that each of them are unique and love different things, but in the same way they love each other enough to love what the other ones love. I adore that they try to take care of one another when no one is supposed to be looking. I love seeing them all together! I love my children, I love my family. Rob and I are blessed to have the family that we have. I am blessed to have Rob!

Though it was apparent that Jacob and Esau were not treated as equals and not loved the same. God did have it planned that way for a reason. Just as I believe that God has a different plan in each one of my childrens' life. He made them all different, but He made them for our family! He calls me as their mother to love and protect them, to offer them up to Him in raising them in His word and desiring Him. He calls Rob as their dad to raise them with love, to discipline with love and authority, to protect, and to provide for them. He calls us as a family to serve Him in obedience. He has given us the biggest blessing of all... His love, His mercy, His grace, and His PERFECT plan. My goal in my family is to make sure that God is our center always in our home! As long as there is always love, always respect, and God as our center, we can follow His plan for our family.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. - Romans 8:28

Day 7 - What are you willing to sacrifice?

GENESIS 21:8-23:20; GENESIS 11:32; GENESIS 24:1-67

God calls Abraham to sacrifice his only son! After waiting for so long to be able to have a child, could you imagine being asked to offer your child up as a sacrifice? Issac was everything to Abraham and Abraham was giving everything to him. Abraham had to forget his dreams and do what God was asking of him. God tested Abraham's belief in the impossible. Do you think on the journey to the place God had planned, Abraham was angry? sad? full of guilt? full of questions? was he asking God why his only son? Was he concerned with the future or what would be coming next? After becoming a mother, I simply could not imagine! Just the thought of the journey to sacrifice my child makes my heart break. Isaac seems to be a strong teenager that was willing to give up his life. There doesn't seem to be any physical struggle to have Isaac lie on the altar. By carrying the wood, we know Isaac was at least a young man. Isaac, it seems, willingly gave up his life at his father’s request just as Jesus did. What fear would your child have? As parents our children trust us. They trust their lives in our hands. We are called to love and respect God above any one else! Abraham demonstrates this in the same way that God gave us His son!

God made us love our children, treasure them, and to ask us to give them to Him... Wow, what a struggle. After almost loosing a person that is SO dear to me during child birth, I look at the sweet face today and I am in awe that she is still with us!! In the same since that I am in awe of this child, there is another that I am saddened for the family! In 2 days tomorrow a son was lost to SIDS 2 years ago. Seeing a mom and dad, grandparents, family, and friends go through the unexpected loss of a child. This child is with God now and we do not understand why. If God is calling you to give something in your life to Him are you willing to do follow Him? What if He asked you to not do something that you wanted to do for so long and now you think you have a chance to do it? What about an item, is there something that you hold so dear you wouldn't give it to anyone? What about something that you love to do... or something that you know you should give up and won't? Why? Why is it so hard to give up ANYTHING in life when we know it is what God is calling us to do?

Abraham is our example, we are to take his actions and his faith and not just learn from it, but do it! What are you willing to sacrifice? What are you willing to lay down for God? What is God calling you to do in your life that you aren't ready to do? What are you doing that God is calling you to stop? I hope these questions are affecting you like they are me... God has called me to be a wife, a mother, a child, and a friend... He has and is asking me to lay down the wrong in life, to start doing right, to live by His grace, to live by His word!


Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ. - Ephesians 1:7

Day 6 - Look at the sins of the world today! Are you going to be saved from the sin in your life?

GENESIS 18:1-21:7 (NIV)

For years the sins of Sodom and Gomorah have been discussed, what was the sin? The cities of Sodom and Gamorah were full of sin! And although there wasn't only one sin in the land, Sodom and Gomorrah serve as a powerful example of how God feels about sin in general and homosexuality specifically. How does God see your sins? How does He feel about your sins? What are your sins? Does God provide resources to you to help you overcome your sins and teach you how to deal with them?

Sodom and Gomorrah were guilty of many other horrible sins, homosexuality was the reason God poured fiery sulfur on the cities, completely destroying them. To this day, the area where Sodom and Gomorrah were located remains a desolate wasteland. The other sins recognized and talked of are in examples such as Ezekiel 16:49-50; Jude 7; and Leviticus 18:22. These passages talk about the arrogant, overfed, not helping the poor, homosexuality, sexual immorality, and perversion. While homosexuality does appear to be the primary reason for the destruction of the cities the other sins were to be completely wiped away as well. Where are we in the world today with these exact sins?

Homosexuality is a part of our every day life of others around us. As Rob and I were watching a TV show that we love the other night, we saw two women actually kiss on national television, and were announced as girlfriends. It really made me stop and think. I do not want my children to think just because today's society is accepting that it is right. The bible teaches us the exact opposite. What resources are we given as Christians to face our sins? Are you open about your sins? Do you confess them and try to receive help on overcoming these sins or are you closed off and trying to cope on your own? Do you put on the armor of God when being confronted with your sins or do you fall into the temptations of the devil? Failing because of our sins in something that is easy to do, falling on our knees because of our sins is something that takes a swallow of pride and an understanding of Gods unfailing love and grace for us! It takes being a part of reading Gods words and understanding that they are meant for us. They are meant for our daily lives, not just when we feel like we need them. When sin is active in our lives we need to turn to God and ask for His for his help and his guidance. Even though it isn't easy, I have my husband who I talk to about my struggles. Not to make him worry, but to make him aware that I am human, sin is present, and knowing that he knows and can pray for me helps me. It makes me feel accountable and is one of the ways that I can show him I trust and respect him and his guidance in my marriage, family, and individual life.

The rapture is being talked about in a real and present since right now. With the sin that was in these two cities alone God wiped the cities out with burning sulfur! Have you asked God for forgiveness of your sin? Have you taken an active roll of trying to get rid of the sin in your life? My challenge for myself today is to recognize that there are sins in my life that I have not repented for or asked forgiveness for. I need to humble myself before the thrown and lay it at the feet of the almighty healer and know that eliminating the sin in my life is what will change my life.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. - Ephesians 6:10-11

Day 5 - Do you wait in faith?

GENESIS 15:1-17:27 (NIV)

As I have read through the passages of today's reading, my question is this: Do you wait in Faith? How much faith do we put in God that He knows everything? Are we afraid of what is happening or not happening to us when we think it is the right time in our minds?

Abram who becomes Abraham and Sarai who becomes Sarah after longing to be fruitful are finally blessed. Abraham even questioned the Lord in His timing. He and his wife took he Lords words into their own hands. Sarai had Abram lay with her maid servant so she could bare his child. The maid servant, Hagar, was not good to Sarai any longer. Sarai was not going to stand for any disrespect. Sarai told Abram about the situation and Abram gave Sarai the control to decide what was best. Sarai told Hagar to take Ishmael away. She was tired of Hagar acting superior to her and did not want the disrespect being protrayed from Ishmael and Hagar to Sarah and Abraham's son Isaac. The Lord told Abraham to trust Sarah in her decision even though it meant giving up his first born son! Do you think this was easy for Abraham? Do you think Sarah wanted to tell her husband whom she loved that he had to tell his first son goodbye? Do you think this put a strain on their marriage?

Do you wait in faith or do you take obstacles and situations into your own hands? There are times when it is really hard to understand what God is trying to teach us. There are times where it is really clear what he is trying to teach us! I find that there are many times I don't wait to see and understands God's ultimate plan before I try to act on it and try to make it happen in the timing I think it should happen. "It's all in my timing, when I feel like moving on, I keep holding on..." is lyrics to a great song I know. They make me think about the timing that we have for our own lives. Maybe it isn't the same timing that God has for our lives, have you thought of that? When we move on and make the decision on what we want to happen or what we "think" God is telling us, it more times that not leaves a void that we keep holding on to the thought or idea that things may have turned out differently! Have the thoughts, I wonder if I had..., if I had waited,... if I just do this,... if I wait... ever crossed your mind? Do you imagine your life better? Do you imagine your life different? Do the decisions you make instead of waiting in faith affect anyone around you?

Sarah and Abraham did not wait on Gods promises. They took what they were being told and made them happen when they thought it was right. In my life, I do the same thing! I jump on any thing new in life. Instead of waiting in faith and making sure that it is something that God is going to bless. God blesses us each and every day! Do you think that if you are waiting in faith, following His guidance, and praying for His perfect guidance, that you are going to be blessed beyond your wildest expectations?! Blessed because God is the one that the center of your waiting, your acting, and your final result?! I do! Challenging myself to not just step out in faith every chance I have, but to wait in faith more often. God is in control - what a humbling and comforting feeling that is to know!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I know He can be trusted and that nothing is too big or difficult for Him. -Jeremiah 32:17

Day 4 - Have you ever pre-judged some one? Who is our ultimate Judge?

GENESIS 11:1-31; 12:1-14:24
1CHRONICLES 1:24-27 (NIV)

Prejudging can be one of the hardest things to get past when you are first meeting a person or learning of a person from a family member or friend. What does this do to you if they prove your initial thoughts wrong?

In Genesis 11:10-20 Abram went to Egypt to escape famine. Taking his wife he knew that the Egyptian Pharaoh would think she was beautiful and try to take Abrams life. Abram decided to allow the Pharaoh to think that she was his sister and in doing this allowed her to do so the Pharaoh took her as his own wife. Instead of Abram putting faith in the Lord to protect himself, his wife, and bless their marriage he caused the Lord to inflict disease on the Pharaoh and his entire household. Instead of Pharaoh doing what Abram thought he would do if he brought his beautiful wife to the country as a wife, Pharaoh told his men to send him on his way, with his wife, and everything he owned. He spared Abram his life and gave back the woman he had taken as his wife for the time he had her. Does sound like a man that would kill another man just to take his wife? OR do you think that he spared Abrams life and gave him back everything that was his because of what serious disease the Lord had placed on him? We may never know the answer to this.

What we as humans do know is exactly how easy it is to judge. It is easy to judge a person by appearance, clothing, color of skin, hair color, attitude, and wealth. I am not saying that initial impression doesn't mean something. What I am saying is it shouldn't be the judge of your whole opinion. In learning of someone from a family member or a friend (without ever physically meeting a person), what do we learn? We learn what the person telling us about that individual wants us to know. We usually only hear extremely possitive or extremely negative information. What right do we have to then judge that person? Do we have the right if after being told the negative, to not like a person, to not desire to meet the person, or to not trust the person? After meeting someone who I had heard an awful lot about last night, I learned that the initial judgment that I had cast was wrong. After talking for a good while, it was clear... the opinions we form about a person after meeting them depends on the way they talk to you, the way they look at life, the way they care about others, the way they love, the way they support the ones they "love", and they way they take care of the ones they love. Needless to say, I was trying to learn about a person who turned out to be who I initially thought he was through conversations. There is disappointment in me, there is hurt and anger. When I say I was wrong last night, this is what I mean: God is not calling me to judge! He is not asking for my opinion on the people that He put here on this earth. What He is doing is calling me to love. Right now I will not love the person I met, what I will do is love the person who caused us to meet. Praying for Gods perfect plan in both of their lives to be evident. Praying for a closeness that once there with Christ that can be there once again!

You see, Abram judged and God made His wrath known. Do you think Abram was sorry to God? to his wife? to the Pharaoh? God has an ultimate plan for each of us. His judgment and His will should be the only thing that our focus is on - NOT for others, for ourselves. When is the last time that you looked at yourself as others see you? What do you think their judgment of you would be? Will they see Christ in your life? Will they see the love you have for your Lord, your spouse, and your children or will it be the love that is for the sin in your life, your job, or your belongings? I challenge myself: do not be swayed by the words of others, learn the truth, remember that Gods judgment is coming! He is our ultimate Judge!!!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

I will not be condemned by God, I have been set free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

Day 3 - Do you think God wishes he had never made the coventant to never flood the earth again?

GENESIS 7:1-10; 10:6-20; 10:21-30; 10:31-32
1CHRONICLES 1:5-7; 1:8-16; 1:17-23 (NIV)

As I look at Genesis and this flood that covered the earth, that killed all but this one family and the sets of all animals, I can't help but wonder if God wishes he had never made the covenant to never flood the earth again. Just look at today! God wiped this earth clean because of all of the sin! What is so different from then to what we see when we look at the world today?

Why did God see Noah as a blameless man? Noah followed the Lord and obeyed Him. Having done this and raised his family right they were worthy to live, in Gods eyes... How was Noah so good with all that was around him such as sin, evil, betrayal, murdering, slandering, fathers having children with their daughters, violence, weaponry, and they had even begun forms of technologically? Is there a difference in what God was disappointed in and what caused Him to want to wipe this earth clean and start over - from where we are today? How are we living our lives with the world as it is today? Look at everything around us! This world is full of sin, corruption, lies, New World Order!! Can you believe all of our surroundings? Are we teaching our children what the bible says about the life we are called to live or are we teaching our children that it is okay to accept certain things of the world? So many prophecies are being filled in today's times. Our war on terrorism and the wars around the world in our own neighborhoods, the weapons of mass destruction that are being built and talked about. Over 5 billion people suffer from a food shortage ranging from those her in our own back yard to all over this country! Look at how many children are in orphanages or foster homes from parents that simply can't take care of them! From 1890 to 1900 (10 year span) there was only one major earthquake in the world. In the past 30 days alone we have on record 693 earthquakes around the world (http://www.iris.edu/seismon/last30.html). The tribulations that so many christian people are under today! Look at China, Sudan, Africa, Saudi Arabia, North Korea, Russia, and many Muslim nations, Christians suffer much greater persecution and often times death for their faith! Then there is Matthew 24:14 - between Media, World Wide Web, Missionaries, Radio, the translation of the bible in so many different languages and through all of the technology we have in today's society, we are preaching the gospel throughout the world! In II Timothy 3:1-5,7 it is evident what we are being told about the end times. Just watch the nightly news, look at those around you in this world.

Praise God for the teachings in the Bible to teach us how to live a life that is obedient and pure. Though at times it isn't always an easy life to follow that path of Gods will and instruction for our lives is what will save us from the very end of this earth. We will live in eternity with Him. We need to be teaching our children that it is only the bible that we look for answers from not this world. Lead by example, lead with knowledge, and lead by and with love - just as Noah did. His family was blessed, his family was asked to be the start of the world again after everything and everyone else was destroyed. Why do you think this is? It is because God saw that Noah would teach his children His way. God knows what this world is today. He knows the outcome and the specific day that His Son will return to earth! He is in control! He is Sovereign and Mighty!

Though far from a perfect mother, wife, daughter, and follower my desire is to know Him more. To learn His will, to follow His word! My thought and prayer today is that in all that is surrounding us in the world that is evil and deceptive, that we as Christians will be able to look into the future of a brighter day when we are all joined as one with Him. Not looking to the worldly possessions that make us happy in the moment, but the ones that give us Eternal happiness.

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. - Romans 12:10

Day 2 - How do we effect others? Do you understand that every action, every word, every decision is effecting others?

GENESIS 4:1-5:32; 1CHRONICLES 1:1-4; GENESIS 6:1-22 (NIV): Day 2

After reading these passages today I learned that every thing we do effects those around us. Even when we don't want it to or intend on it touching some one else. Just think, how we treat our children, how we talk to our children, how we talk to those around us... it is picked up, learned, and used by our children. Have you ever sat and talked to a good friends, lets say, 5 year old? When they are telling you a story does their body language, their tone of voice, their eye connection, and/or their words sound familiar? Does it remind you of your friend? I hear the words I say come back back to me 99% of the time from my children. Not only the good ones such as I love you, thank you, please, but more often the bad ones... I said no, don't ask again, how many times do I have to tell you... Although at times it is hard not to laugh that they are saying the very words I have spoken, I teach a double standard in telling them to not talk to me in that manor! Many times have I said something to my kids to think to myself at the very end of the sentence, "Man I sound just like my mom!". I can just see each of my kids now telling their kids the exact things I have said to them instead of having the patience, the time for, and the love for... What am I teaching my kids when I am too busy doing something that seems important to me at the time and not stop what I am doing and help my child, play with my child, or just be there for them?
In today's reading we start with Cane and Abel. Cane's offerings were not in the Lords favor although Abel's were. Cane could not except that he needed to work harder and do what the Lord was calling of him to receive the Lords favor. Instead, he took his brother to a field and killed him. Cane's sin took hold of his life. How true is Romans 6:23a " . . .the wages of sin is death."? Sin that is not dealt with, not confessed, grows and takes control. When you stop sin and confess it cannot grow. We need to rule over our own life and determine do what is right. We need to recognize what sin does to us, confess, and over come!
As I look at my kids, all four of them, I do not want any of them to feel as though I am looking upon one with favor and not the others. There are different things I love and adore about each one of my children. Sean, he is a strong young man who looks to his father for guidance while trying to make a life for himself. Brooke, she is so beautiful inside and out! She loves the tender touch when you walk past her. Brianna, she is the most strong willed child we have! She is rarely indecisive, she knows what to say that will push your buttons, and she has a tendency to try to rule the house. Yet, when Brianna wants to be close to you she can say the most sweet words, give the greatest hugs, and know what you need when you need it. Jayce, our little man, he 3, we are learning more and more about him. He gives the best kisses, and I find that he compliments and says positive things to people. Each of my children are different, yet they are all loved the same. The journey each of them have gone through so far in life has come with love and the desire to be raised in a Christian home. My prayer for my children is that they all feel the love that is shared in our home. That they continue to love one another! I want to be a mother after Gods own heart and listen to His calling for my childrens' lives! Living a Godly life, teaching by example, and Teaching the Love of the Bible!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:32

Day 1- God made Rob for me, who did God make for you?

Genesis 1:1-3:24 (NLT) - Day 1

Do you believe in marriage? Do you believe there is one person that God created just for you? He created Eve just for Adam! He created her for his liking and to be his partner. With the tree of life, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, He gave us full will of knowledge and understanding, but leaves it in our hands to decide what is good and evil. He specifically placed someone special in Adams life. He gave him a wife, a partner. He did not call us to be alone. He called us to be happy with and in one another. After thinking about it and knowing that God specifically calls us to not be unequally yolked, it finally makes perfect sense to me. After my first marriage ended, I quickly realized I did not love the man I had married, I loved the idea of trying to make it on my own. Being a girl raised in churches I knew God, I had accepted God as my Lord and Savior, while my ex denied there could be a God. Now, knowing that the first marriage Rob entered into was between two people who were unequally yolked as well, it makes the path that God has in our lives clear. Though at times, I have not followed God and the calling He has for my life, He now has made it evident that His Will will be done! He placed Rob in my path when He knew I was in need of a lifelong partner. A partner after Gods heart too! After the first dance we shared, the first date, and all of the firsts in between... He has called me to be Robs wife, to be his partner; He made me for Rob and Rob for me.
Now, I find what the Lord spoke to Eve, then to Adam, to be one of the easiest things to see today. He told Eve that pregnancy and birth will cause pain, and went on to say how we as women will want to rule over our husbands, though our husband is the head and rules over us (NLT Genesis 1:16). Do you find this true? It isn't that I want to "rule" over my husband, however, I would like not to feel ruled over. As for what the Lord told men, it is more true today then ever... it takes the sweat of your brow to make a living (NLT Genesis 1:17-19). Understanding that God knew at that point in time that there was going to be struggles between woman and man he could have stopped it, He didn't though. He let the earth grow, be sewn, the fruits multiply and here today we are! We were all made for a purpose. We are all made in the image of His Majesty!
As wives let us remember today, that our husbands are our 'ruler' and as long as they are obeying God and His commands, we are to abide and follow! Respect the men in your lives with words of encouragement and not discipline. Make home life a pleasant place to be. It isn't always easy to want the best for your husbands, but they should come before yourself! They should be the first person you are praying for every morning when you wake up and the last person you are praying for every evening before you close your eyes. Ladies let me tell you something I have learned, even if it isn't said, you are appreciated! Men, husbands, remember this, as women we look to you for direction. We lean on you for your example and for understanding. All though you sew the ground and work HARD for the living we (women) look for the tender touch and tender hand that closes our day. Pray for us, pray for the mother of your child/children, pray for the words of tenderness through the day so you can come home and feel comforted in your home.
God uses marriage to help us not be lonely, but to enjoy life, establish families, and raise children. It is a beautiful gift! After going through a study (even though not completed), I am starting a new chapter here... In believing in marriage and it isn't only about the other person and what they need to change, it is about yourself, about dealing with our own issues with the help of our life long partner. God put them there for a reason! Do you know the reason He put them in your life? My thought for this journey in my life today is this: appreciate what I have right in front of me, be patient, respond positively (even when I am upset), and to love!

Very Respectfully,
Leslie

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ~Ephesians 4:2

This is the beginning...

So, today is March 16, 2010. Creeping up on 29 years old, married to a man I adore, 4 kids, and learning what God's calling is in my life. This is one of the hardest questions I ask myself! Every time I think of this my heart tells me the only way that I will have these questions answered is to be in His Word! To be living by His will and in His light. This is why I have set a goal: My goal is in this year beginning today I will read the bible in a year. Walking through the pages that were written for every single one of us is just what I need. At times I find myself looking at my life as though there were 4 different - completely separate - parts to my life when in truth, there is only ONE; One me; One heart; One family; One life to fulfill... to better explain: Every morning I wake up to the wonderful sounds of my children walking through my door to wake me up because they do not want to be alone. After the snuggling and good mornings are exchanges we get up, make daddy coffee, get Brianna ready for school, take Bri to school, take Brooke to school and come back home to get daddy ready for work. In the time I am gone, Rob, wakes up, usually makes himself a cup of coffee, gets a muffin, and is talking with little man about his great tricks and encouraging his awesome mind at the age of 3. We hang out with dad while he gets ready and kiss him in his uniform before he leaves for work. For the rest of the day I spend the day watching cartoons, making lots of "I'm hungry" requests fulfilled, and cleaning before having to go pick up my beautiful girls, get home and start dinner, and clean up again. I have loved being a stay at home mommy for 5 years now! The opportunity to help out when and where needed, to see my children grow, to be there for my pre-teen and her schooling, to be on call any time my husband needs an escape to talk or to get out of the office for a bit... These are the very things I believe for the past 5 years I have been Called to do. Lately, the question has come up of where do I want to be in my life. Right where I am is fine, but yes, I have other dreams and desires that I hope one day to fulfill with a heart that is following Gods Will- not my own! Mary Kay has been an incredable company to be a part of, photography/videography is one of the things I find most rewarding not only for myself, but for others, and then there is cooking and baking! My happiest times have been spent not only in my own kitchen, but eating in restaurants where the food is delish... yes, I said it... delish!! When I can look at my husband after ordering, just praying everything comes out perfect, once the dinner arrives that eye of disappointment is usually what we see. Only a handful of times have we ordered and gotten exactly what we felt like we paid for. One of those places was in Minnesota called The Neighbors. For the 5th year anniversary of the day we met my husband introduced me to a taste of great food, great service, and great wine (not to mention the wonderful company of 5 roses, an embroidered candle, and a wonderful man by my side). This is what started me into really looking at foods, restaurants, service, front of house staff, back of house staff... Then of course, as any one who knows me at all knows, I started watching anything that Chef Ramsey is on! I watch cooking shows, experiment, taste, and try the new. This is where I find myself today! - Desire filled to be in a restaurant - yes, my own restaurant would be ideal, but there is work involved yet to do before getting there. First step is to go to Culinary Arts School! - Le Cordon Bleu - This is my next dream- March 16th 2011 is my goal! For now, the bible in a year will help me to hear Gods calling, I will continue to raise my children, support my husband in his career and his musical talent and dreams, and to get life on the right path that God will be my guide. There are many things about myself I need to change... This change is beginning...

Very Respectfully,
Leslie